From: Simon Burr <simes@bpfh.tcp.co.uk>

Whilst attempting to prevent my brain being fried by documentation and recovering from the experiments from the staff restaurant, I had the following thought: What if OS's were animals ?

This thought meandered through my mind and resulted in the following:

DOS - A tiny little flea that has no protection from the drool of users and is often drowned by it. All it can do is jump into the load to send it going on its way. Most of the time.

Windows 3.x - An asmatic ant covered in many layers of drool proof sheeting. Its load towers above it, causing the ant to stagger around all over the place bumping into things and falling over. Even the weight of the anti-drool sheeting causes the ant's knees to shudder.

Windows 95 - A small beetle covered with many many layers of drool proof sheeting. Whilst it can handle more load, it has a tendency to fall over when you least expect it, spilling its load all over the place. When it falls over it rolls onto its back and just waves its legs in the air.

Windows NT - A larger beetle than Windows 95 and covered with the same layers of drool proof sheeting. However it also carries several placards that claims it can deal with really heavy loads. When such loads are placed upon it, it normally staggers about for a while, tearing holes in its drool proof clothing until it collapses on its back, waving its legs in the air. After much work, it may get itself back on its feet but this doesn't happen very often.

Unix - A dog of various breeds. All have a tendency to bite users quite hard if they drool too much.