From: pgut01@cs.auckland.ac.nz (Peter Gutmann

A variant of this recently appeared in rec.humour.funny, although I've seen other versions floating around since the early 80's..

• Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
• Is more powerful than a locomotive
• Is faster than a speeding bullet
• Walks on water
• Gives policy to God

• Leaps short buildings in a single bound
• Is more powerful than a switch engine
• Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
• Walks on water in calm weather
• Talks with God

• Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
• Is almost as powerful a switch engine
• Is faster than a speeding BB
• Wades through water
• Talks with God by prior appointment

• Barely clears a quonset hut
• Loses tug of war with a locomotive
• Can fire a speeding bullet
• Swims well
• Is occasionally addressed by God

• Walks around buildings
• Recognizes locomotives two times out of three
• Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
• Treads water
• Talks to animals

• Runs into buildings
• Says "Look at the choo-choo"
• Is not issued ammunition
• Can stay afloat with a life jacket
• Mumbles to himself

• Flattens tall buildings
• Kicks locomotives of their tracks
• Catches bullets in teeth and eats them
• Parts the ocean and walks across on dry land
• Is God