The Backhoe Song, by Steven Levine
Charlie said, "Fred, hey get out of bed, Don't waste your time in yawning. There's a world of work that lies ahead And a bright new day is dawning. Forget your tractor, it's time to sell; It's years since you last rode her. We'll buy that Case 580L -- The backhoe front end loader." So it's off we go on the old backhoe And we'll never mind the weather or the winds that blow; And the roaring sound when we dig up the ground, Will be deafening the neighbors for a mile around. We will shout and swear and we just won't care When we come around and don't give any warning. There's no finer way to begin the day Than to ride the excavator in the morning. Charlie arrived with a crash and a ding At the foreman's introduction; Did he know that the metro access ring Ran right beside construction? Soon half the city's links were out, And the other half were queued up; A single point of failure route Means someone really screwed up. So it's off we go on the old backhoe And we'll never mind the weather or the winds that blow; And the roaring sound when we dig up the ground, Will be deafening the neighbors for a mile around. We will shout and swear and we just won't care When we come around and don't give any warning. There's no finer way to begin the day Than to ride the excavator in the morning. Then Charlie drove in with a great big grin Past the signs of "do not enter"; While the warning beeps made a raucous din In the operations center; Fred said "Charlie, come back if you please, You're making me kind of nervous," While by degrees all the ISPs Were reporting lack of service. So it's off we go on the old backhoe And we'll never mind the weather or the winds that blow; And the roaring sound when we dig up the ground, Will be deafening the neighbors for a mile around. We will shout and swear and we just won't care When we come around and don't give any warning. There's no finer way to begin the day Than to ride the excavator in the morning. You can add more nodes to the network chain On your longhaul backbone cable; You can run all the daemons that maintain A dynamic routing table; To insist upon a protocol, You can storm and make a racket; But there's no such thing as a firewall For a Fred and Charlie packet. So it's off we go on the old backhoe And we'll never mind the weather or the winds that blow; And the roaring sound when we dig up the ground, Will be deafening the neighbors for a mile around. We will shout and swear and we just won't care When we come around and don't give any warning. There's no finer way to begin the day Than to ride the excavator in the morning.